


Everyone has their Secrets

by Ookami82



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 20:50:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1702112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookami82/pseuds/Ookami82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy wants payback from Edward, unfortunately Edward beats Roy at his own game. Everyone has their little secrets...or so they thought...</p><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone has their Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cornerofmadness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerofmadness/gifts).



> Written for cornerofmadness ages ago!

  
“Roy, don’t you think this is a little childish?” Riza whispered as she watched her _supposed_ superior jingle the lock pick of Edward Elric’s barrack.   
  
Roy casted her a childish smirk indeed. “Well, possibly on some levels. But I know that little shit has condoms stashed in here, consider it pay-back for all the senz he owes me.   
  
Riza sighed. “And just how do you know that Edward has condoms, Sir? He’s barely seventeen. I didn’t think Edward would even know to buy condoms, much less use them.”  
Roy’s grin grew as the door knob gave way and opened. “Well…just like we have our own little secrets, so does Fullmetal. Did you honestly think that he gets only automail repairs when that pretty little mechanic shows up? Alphonse is a horrible liar, and a great truth teller. It wasn’t too hard to find out. I have seen Al walking around Central some nights, alone. This is pretty uncommon for Edward to allow Alphonse to wonder alone…unless he is getting his dick wet.”  
  
Riza didn’t even blush at Roy’s language. How could she considering she was just about to let Roy do the same thing. When they first started their secret intimate relationship Riza was stoic and almost awkward. However, now was a different story, Roy Mustang ignited the flames in her very core; a partial reason why she loved the stupid man.   
  
Roy had moved in to the dark single room that belonged to his inferior. He opened the drawer of the night table and clicked his tongue as he grabbed the small tin of prophylactics.  
  
Ten minutes later, he and Riza got into his car and were on the move to his Madame Christmas’s bar. At a stop light Roy decided to make sure the condoms were in their rightful place. He watched the light as his fingers felt inside the tin only to feel nothing but paper. He yanked the car to the side of the road and looked into the tin for himself. Sure enough there was nothing in it but a folded piece of paper.  
  
“Roy? Why the hell are you stopping like this?” Riza seethed. Her eyes found his narrowed black ones.  
  
“That little bastard…” He grumbled as he tossed the offending paper to Riza. She read the note for herself.  
  
 _Colonel Bastard,_  
  
I knew that you would be low enough to pick the lock in my room, but to steal my stash? I am not as prudish as you thought, you dick. Stop stealing my shit, I’ll pay you back when I get the chance. And by the way, I am getting laid as you read this…  
  
Ed  
  
Ps: If you need condoms so bad, ask Riza about the tin she hides in her tea cupboard. 

Riza narrowed her own brown eyes. “He got into my stash! She astonished, forgetting that Roy was still sitting next to her driving. Her cheeks blushed, but no matter, her fingers danced upon the gun at her hip.   
  
“I am going to kill him when he returns.” She growled indirectly turning Roy on more than he already was.  
  
“Take the next left; we are going to my place tonight. If he took my condoms and I don’t get relief I will go to Rush Valley and hang him by his balls while you fry him.”  
  
Roy grinned like a cat. “My Riza, such thoughts. Who knew you were such a fox?” Roy cooed.   
  
Riza shimmied her hand down the front of Roy’s pants. “Only you do.” She replied seductively


End file.
